Letter to a Friend Faraway

Dear Supriti,

                    I hope this letter finds you in good health. My fellow readers might think me to be crazy but I am not. They might say that there is no point in wishing you good health because you are already gone- but you haven't. For me you have just got a transfer to a faraway place (somewhere we are not allowed to go) because you yourself had written the application for a transfer. Wherever you are, be happy (which you were not when alive) and may you find mental peace.

                    I'll keep it short, else this letter will never end. I don't remember exactly when we started talking, but this much I know that our friendship started weaving in class eight, in class nine the threads had woven into a beautiful shawl, and in class ten this shawl kept our secrets under cover. Supriti, do you remember that day at the end of class nine when Sneha recited her poem, I sang my self-composed song and you sang your original song 'Alone'? We were sitting on the last benches, Akhanksha( forgive me if I misspelled your name), you and me, and you appreciated my song so heartily. From that day onwards we started connecting through music. Later, you were the one who introduced me to the Smule app and finally when I installed it in class ten, you were so happy! I won't ever stop calling you Shuupreetii in place of Supriti because I know that is what irritated you the most.
                    Everything about you had an edge in it. If I were to start with your physical aspects, your model-like figure, your voice, your bob-cut hair.... Everything! Your personality was way better than the average girls' but I'm not sure whether I had ever told you this. If I had not, then I am saying it now; you were a charming person. You always inspired us and no, I'm not flattering you or boasting about you. Now when I'm writing this letter to you, your memories are making me smile. I have been writing this letter from the 29th of last month(the day you left us) and I'm still writing it because whenever I do so I indulge in deep thoughts; thoughts which only you would understand.
                    We really miss you in school these days and every time I'm writing someone's diary I have just one thought in my mind: I did not fill your diary. I remember you begging me to do so but I made excuses every time, so I could not write anything more than your misspelled name... On the day we had spoke to each other for the last time before you went I remember vividly the way you had told me to write in your diary. Probably it was the only thing in years that you had asked me to do, and I didn't pay attention to it when I should've. Anyway, a seat has been kept for you in our classroom and though you don't sit there anymore I feel your presence whenever I glance at it.
                     In school, whenever I miss you badly I pay a visit to the place I had clicked pretty group photos of you and few of our other friends, that is the area just beside the main gate, surrounding the children's park. When I go there, alone, I try talking to you and it really feels like you're listening to me. Over there, I have sung so many songs of your liking and have composed many more in your memory. If only you had lived to enjoy the very last day in school! Supriti dear, I don't want to talk about your miseries but I believe you would have had some better days if only you had lived long enough to have some more quality time with us!
                      I am going to miss you terribly on our farewell day and on our yet to come excursion trip. But remember that I haven't forgiven you for not sending me the picture we both had clicked, posing on the stairs our school corridor. And, you're selfish. You did not think about the plans we had made about having our own YouTube channel and setting up our partnership business. Now who is going to take over your place? Is anybody going to? Ever??

                      Now, all I can really do is to ask you to be with me so that I can feel your presence. I know this letter will remain unanswered, but I also know that you are reading this and  feeling like returning once again; but you can't. I pray to the Almighty above so that at  least these words may reach you. Let our souls stay connected through music.❤    

Just that you were here, and today you're just faraway... Far, far away from us.
You will always be my dear 'Shupreeti'. 💟😊

Yours lovingly,
Sinchita

Addressed to: Supriti Banerjee (7th March, 2002 to 29th November, 2017)

The Last Children's Day

It hurts to even say this; the fourteenth of this month was the last school celebration I attended on the occasion of Children's Day. I don't know which school I'll get into after my boards, but definitely there won't be any more celebrations for me in this Carmel.

Throughout these twelve years, there have been endless memories and I still marvel at the fact that I'm about to leave this environment in a few days: it's like 'the end of an era'. The day was mostly about clicking pictures with friends, classmates and juniors. As usual we were allowed to wear outfits of our own choice and again, everyone was busy checking out who was looking the best. We were excited to find out what our 'dear' teachers had prepared for us (and were a little upset when we didn't find what we expected to). As soon as everyone was present we began our 'photoshoot' ; I was the one who kept on clicking the worst candids possible ( my friends hate me for that). It was a huge question from everyone whose picture I clicked that why do I snap shots when they are not ready, or are not posing. My explanation was that,"Everybody has a good picture when they are posing; but pictures clicked without the knowledge of the person in it are the best, because they are natural."
Here are examples:

All I remember is my best friend Sneha insisting me to click a picture with her; but as usual it didn't happen. My bad.

Then we went to watch the program, which was initially a bore, but it improved gradually. After that we hurried to the ground to have out tiffin( to feast, rather), and it was over even before we let it sink in. The day was a normal celebration day, with a lot more laughter (especially because of my pictures). Remarkable was the fact that it was the last time we got the chance to plan what to wear and what food to have because we won't have any other celebration after this. There won't be any other announcement telling us to proceed to the auditorium one by one and no one to scold us if we wore anything indecent( not according to the school calendar). This might seem very normal for anybody else, but only Carmelites know what it is to be a part of this.

Yes, it was the last children's day.
The sad part is I don't have any picture with Supriti; I won't get to see her in her wonderful outfits anymore and I won't be jealous anymore.

Bring me another flower

I was reading the short story 'Kabuliwala' by Rabindranath Tagore when, lost in the thoughts of the connection between Rahmat and Mini, something similar came to my mind.

The pool car in which I go to school carries fourteen girls, big and small, to school. Amongst us all the youngest one is Indrani, just four years old, who reads in the pre-primary section now. Our driver, who is always referred to as 'uncle' in a way as if it is his name, is a very friendly, responsible and also a caring person. 

Indrani looks like this when she gets angry:

Indrani (as cute as a little puppy) is a very interesting person. Little and adorable as she is, Indrani has a very bubbly nature. She can be quite moody at times, and when she is so she can be quite rude as well as angry, not paying heed to anything else. But normally, on other days she is like the icing on a cake which attracts me and lures me to school. Her smile is broad and bright, like sparkling sunshine; her cheeks are plump and form dimples when she smiles; her eyes, black and round, glisten like marble bearings. But the most striking feature of her is that ponytail. Oh dear! How disturbed she gets when someone plays with her ponytail( which I do!). Her laughter can lighten even the heart which is heavy with all kinds of miseries and pains and her uninterrupted banter can make even the most serious Chief Justice laugh. She never forgets to carry her ID card, and driver uncle makes sure she hasn't. 

Driver Uncle on the other hand is very particular about his job. He is rarely late, makes sure that the girls behave like girls (and not like chimpanzees!) at the same time indulges in a hearty laughter when something funny happens. He himself is a father and therefore knows how to handle kids and how to win their hearts: probably that's the reason why he is Indrani's best friend in the car.

Indrani loves flowers: and almost everyday when I enter the car I see a flower in her hand. "Kaku kaku, arekta phul ene debe?"(means-uncle, can you bring me another flower?)
This is what she says and uncle goes and plucks a flower, or a bunch of them from the nearby blossoming tree. He can never say no to her sweet baby-like appeal. Though she ends up spoiling the flower, and the petals never get the essence of our school (because their life ends even before they reach school!), the smile and happiness that is seen in her eyes is enough to melt one's heart. Uncle is the person who makes her laugh on her 'not so jolly' days. He is the one who keeps on listening to her baby-talk and responds in a similar childish manner. He never gets tired of her and supports her when the other girls ('didis', to be more appropriate) irritate her or taunt her. Whenever someone does something to disturb her or to get her attention, uncle gives Indrani the idea of calling her mother and reporting it to her immediately. No sooner he tells this than she picks up her ID card, puts it to her left ear( like a cell phone) and says," Ma, ei didi gulo amake birokto korche!" And we all burst into laughter. Even I love to see how she reacts when I toss her tiny little ponytail; she turns and gives a mischievous smile. In the car, every passenger has a name, but not the one their parents decided on, but the one Uncle decided so that Indrani does not have a problem remembering them.

Uncle is like the Kabuliwala, Rahmat and Indrani is like Mini. I wonder, what if like in the story one day they don't get to see each other anymore? And what if one day he sees her when she has grown up into a young lady but does not remember her dear friend 'kaku'? I guess, just like in the story he will marvel at her, seeing how much she has grown...

But the thing he will miss the most is her saying,"Kaku arekta phul ene debe?"

Because, all she used to say was,"Bring me another flower."

A Beautiful Day

It was in the month of September. It was a beautiful day. ☺

I remember waking up just like every other day, just that there were no worries, no bad thoughts; my demons hadn't woken up yet. I got ready for school, went down the stairs and was waiting for the pool car. As the car came, I hopped in, took my book out and started reading. Outside the window was the everyday scenery of the flats and trees and roads; inside I was engrossed in the world of 'The Oleander Girl' by Chitra Banerjee Devakaruni.

After few minutes of reading I glanced out the window. Though it was the same view that I see five to six days a week, it was different; different from the other days. It felt so fresh. I closed the book and started absorbing the morning's glory. The wind so gentle yet bold, the amber-like sunshine so warm and gleaming. As if even the trees had put on a new and greener attire!

As soon as I entered the school premises, I started observing every person and everything from a different aspect. I was feeling positive. One by one my friends came too, and the daily mandatory gossip began; but my mind was somewhere else. I don't know why I was feeling so blessed: blessed to have the things I had, blessed to be alive, blessed to have my family, friends and foes. As soon as I saw my dear friend Shreya, I told her how glad I was feeling. There were no worries, everything seemed to fall in place. I wondered if only this could go on forever and if only I could carry this feeling to the grave, but no. I knew this was only temporary: yet I felt contended.I don't know what made me feel that way- but whatever it was, it was heavenly. My mind felt at peace.

That day I realised that happiness lies in one's mind. It was just a normal day yet it was special. I stopped feeling that way after a few hours but when I look back upon that morning I feel better.
I shall take time to forget that morning; that wonderful start to an ordinary day.

It was a beautiful day.

Sunsets

This post has no link with the previous one.😏

Many of us like sunsets, don't we? Even I do. In fact, I love sunsets. It does not matter where the place is: whether it's a mountain, or the beach, a snow covered peak, or the sea, among the clouds, or behind the skyscrapers; I love it everywhere. 

I never miss a chance to watch the sun retire for the day. Well, most of the times I tend to predict when the sunset is going to be one among the clouds with the sky turning as golden as hay, with a touch of pink and a tinge of orange on the evergreen background of blue and indigo. And, there can never be a better excuse to take the camera out of the hidden chambers and capture the moment's changes! Have you ever noticed how fast the sun sets? It's like as if it changes every second; the look, the shades of the sky, the pattern and placement of clouds(if any), the sun's position and the atmosphere. Once in motion, the sun does not take more than fifteen minutes to set, actually it takes even less, and every minute looks like as though some painter is completing his masterpiece.

Fig 1: Radhanagar Beach, Andaman & Nicobar Islands.

But how many of us do really appreciate this aspect of nature? We go to different places to admire the sublime beauty lying in nature, but we don't perceive the simplicity and charm in and around our locality. It's true what Rabindranath said in one of his poems

".... Dekhite giyachi porbotmala, dekhite giyachi sindhu
Dekha hoy na chokhhu meliya,
Ghor hote sudhu dui pa feliya
Ekti dhaner shisher upor ekti shishir bindu."

But I have seen. I have seen the sun set the way few others do. I have seen beauty where others see nothing. I have seen sunset from a tourist spot known for it and also from the balcony of our flat. Trust me, both of them are beautiful. The difference is of the mood and the place. It's just the way one sees it- the same thing might appear dull and boring to someone who is not paying his full attention. Sometimes, even with a lot of attention everyone cannot percieve beauty because everyone is not born with the same mindset. Thus, I feel blessed because I have a mind which can appreciate and admire nature in all its forms. After all, all you need is a mind to see and a heart to percieve ☺.

 Sometimes you should take a break. Sometimes you should go out into the balcony. (sorry if your balcony does not provide you with a splendid view; mine does).

In the end, every day is a new day; and every sunset is an unique one. Just give it a little time and you will realise it. Shakespeare said something very true in his play 'The Merchant of Venice':

Portia- "How many things by season season'd are

               To their right praise and true perfection!"

Fig 2: Chidiyatapu Beach, Andamans again.

My first post

This is my first post as a blogger; hope my fellow readers like it.

Yes. A frustrated teenager.

I don't know where to start because I am unorganized. I don't know where to go because I am lost. I don't know what to say because I am speechless. I don't know how to proceed because my legs are bound. I don't know what to do because I am frustrated.

Frustration is the feeling of being upset or annoyed as a result of being unable to achieve, or change something. Some may wonder, what can cause frustration to a teenager? To them my answer will be: teenagers have quite many reasons to be frustated , and often most of them whom we see everyday are going through a 'phase' which may not be so visible. Always what it seems is not what it really is. A person may look quite happy and jolly but it may happen that that person goes through depression (we shall talk about this later) or frustration. A frustrated person does not always go around and beat drums confessing his problems and miseries aloud; such a person either keeps it all to himself, or shares it with the ones whom he trusts.

There might be many reasons for a teenager to be frustrated. It may be their inability to perform well academically, it could be their fears telling them not to take risks, it could be peer pressure telling them to do things which they might be afraid of, it might even be some school bully. Sometimes, it may also be their parents, pressurizing them to pursue some stream or career of the former's choice. A lack of confidence which sometimes tells them that they are not good enough, or that they can't achieve some desired career, or that others are way too better than them can also be another reason. Apart from these there might be other reasons too, like inability of handling too much pressure from their surroundings. Frustration from such reasons may not be so bad at first, but it may increase with time and over thinking of those issues. When a person in such kind of difficulty is not able to speak out, either to a group or to a single person, their frustration might increase. They may start feeling helpless or that no one understands them, but inside they themselves know that it would be better if they could share their feelings with  some other person. Such a person may be unwilling to open up (even if that might be helpful and relieve them of some stress ) as he thinks most of the people around him will misunderstand him, but he keeps on searching: searching for some person who might understand, and will be able to guide him so that he can think in an organized manner.

Thus, frustration may have many roots, numerous branches and varied leaves, but in the end it leaves the victim in trouble. My advice will be please try to talk to your peers if you notice something unusual about them. While doing that make sure that you have a likewise mentality else even you may have difficulty in perceiving what he is saying. Sometimes it is even better to leave a crying person alone than to keep poking him asking him what is wrong: he may either explode in anger, or he may cry even more. If he is left alone for some time, maybe it will help heal his wound.☺