A Tinkle

A tinkle of the dream catcher, sunlight breaking in through the meshes of its croquet work; the wind turning the pages of the book I was reading. 

A tinkle of the windchime, wind gliding in through the window; a fresh breath.

Breathe. Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat. Slowly, no hurry; you'll make it till the end. 

That is how I need to talk to myself to calm down my thoughts. 

It is not easy, controlling your mind when you're always in a dilemma. Are you thinking or are you overthinking? Are you wondering about something or just procrastinating? Are you planning your future or just tricking yourself into believing something that's probably not going to happen? Being an overthinker in a busy world can be tough. Sometimes you don't even know whether it is actually a problem or it's just the fancies of your mind. Sometimes, you have no idea about what you are thinking about, but somehow, you are worried. No, it does not take words from someone else to trouble you; your mind does that well enough. While being imaginative is your boon, being an overthinker is its evil counterpart.

It takes just a tinkle of an anklet to make me happy and just a tinkle of my thoughts to make me anxious.

Shot a glance at the sky, a beautiful blue it was. A scenery. 

I was just visiting this place, in my mind.

And that's when I heard it.

A tinkle.

Is it Gone?

(I've been very lousy the last few months; sorry.)

'Love is but the recognition of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.' Is that so?

Right now a song that's playing in my mind is: 

How could a heart like yours,

Ever love a heart like mine.

How could I live before....( and so it goes). This is a song from the movie 'If I Stay', one of those movies which I'd like to watch again and again. 

 

We're all searching for something, aren't we? But what is it? What is it that is going to fill the void that makes us feel empty sometimes? Is it love? Some think it is love and hence start looking for it. Dating. Not a new term. But a trend among youngsters. Some people 'date' because they like that person, some do so because they're somewhat lonely, while some others do that just in case they find their soulmate. But something is going wrong here...

 

We want more temporary things than permanent ones. The same applies to people too.

We might dream of a beautiful relationship with a person who is going to be there for us no matter what happens. Someone who is going to value us, someone to wake up to every morning and still feel the same love as the first day. But though we wish for such promising relationships, we don't behave the way we ought to. Don't get me wrong, but the truth is we are doing exactly the opposite of what it takes to have such love in our lives. How can we ever know whether we love someone if we don't stay with them for long enough? If we want such love we should also be able to give such love. Some might say, " How am I supposed to find 'the one' for me if I don't date till I know?" If you search for it, you shall never find love. 

Do soulmates really exist? I had once read in an article in a newspaper which said that when we talk about the soul we are talking about something infinite and something so vast does not need a mate to complete itself. So, if you are searching for your soulmate, you may never find him/her. 

'When it's right, it's simple and easy..' 

This is true. When it is meant to be with something it is going to happen, no matter the circumstances. And when I say that I don't mean that it's going to happen on its own. You need to try to make it work.

You don't need Romedy Movies to feel love and be emotional about it. Look around yourself, you'll see many such lives which could be made into movies and on which books could be written. I know people who are just a few years elder to me and are in a relationship that has survived for years, through hurdles and hardships. I have seniors who have always had that one boyfriend whom they've been with for years. I don't know about others but I think being in love with someone for years  and getting married to them is one of the most wonderful things that can happen to a person, but it doesn't happen to all. 

Such commitment, trust, faith, love, is hard to find.

Is it gone?

[When I write I write not just for people to read, but for myself to understand too. As I post this, I'm not just letting others know about my point of view but also teaching myself a few things. This  is a constant battle inside me, with two voices saying two contradictory ideas. It's Me against ME. ]